Pink Shirt Day

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Today, two friends told me about their recent experience with bullying.

One of my best friends, who I have known for 23 years told me about her son fearfully shaking this morning as he told her he was scared to go to school. Another friend told me about how her co-workers child is experiencing bullying with little help from the school principal.

Sadly, these stories are not unique and the fact is that bullying is rampant in our society.

From very small children, where it begins, to adults in public office.  Many people know live in the great state of Wisconsin. For over 50 years the state has held a long tradition of union negotiation, protecting the rights of workers. Now those rights are under attack by a newly elected Governor, ill-equipped to compromise, preferring strong-arm tactics.

Both sides of the argument are in the process of name calling and bullying tactics.  One side has sought to bully the other into changes and is shocked when the other has decided to push back, effectively playing the same game by refusing to allow a vote. Clearly, both sides are bullying the other, and failing to negotiate is a horrible example of how things should work.  Sadly, that the Governor is trying to eliminate the right to negotiate is the most tragic tactic to come out of this political dispute but both sides have behaved poorly in many respects.

I would like to remind people, bullying begins in a child’s formative years and all examples that adults provide are quickly internalized as proper behavior, regardless of whether those are appropriate or not.

When a child is bullied on the playground we often tell them to fight back, and we certainly wouldn’t expect them to lay down and take a beating when faced with a fight, but to defend themselves given the circumstances.  The solution is to learn how to treat each other with respect and learn to negotiate and compromise with a clear head, avoiding the power abuse that is bullying.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011 is Pink Shirt Day, a day we stand together to fight against bullying by deciding we are no longer going to tolerate power abuse. We stand together silently to support the rights of children and people to be treated with respect. Remember to wear your PINK shirt, and remember that bullying begins with each of us and the examples we set for our children.

Here is a link for more information.

Kindergarten Open House

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It is scary meeting new teachers, seeing the school, and learning where everything is. Scary, not only, for my very brave almost six-year-old but scary for me. She seems to have it well in hand, even if she is a little shy about it. And not actually shy, she is more a watcher. She watches to see where everything goes, how everyone interacts, and what is required of her, before she jumps in. Understandable.  

Nope ,she is not the one who is nervous, really. It is me. I am a little scared of the other parents. Maybe, it is because I have read Queen Bee Moms and King Pin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman. Maybe, I am nervous because of what I went through in kindergarten, and I am nervous for her.  Maybe I am nervous because people really scare me. 

You wouldn’t guess it, and no one usually does, but people, pretty much terrify me. Mostly, because I know how mean and petty they are, passing judgements, sizing up clothes and appearance, determining a persons worth through their attire.  I never let on though, not at first. I talk to everyone, and I mean everyone. I have been accused of being overly social and overly friendly.  Maybe that is true. But the truth is, that I just really want to meet people, and enjoy their differences, even if I am terrified they will not respond in kind. Plus, the truth is I just don’t know how to act around people, and I get scared, and my mouth seems to go on hyper-drive. People probably hate it. It doesn’t mean I am any less genuine, it just means I don’t really know what to say, and all I want to do is know everyone!  

My daughter didn’t seem terrified. Her teacher is kind, and she already knows a lot of kids at the school, because of the wonderful community we live in, and her preschool experiences.  Kids kept saying “Hi” and waving, “good to see you”, so she didn’t seem worried. If she was she didn’t show it and she didn’t mention it when we talked about her impression of the new school.  

Instead, I was worried. Worried about how her experience will be, and worried about my experience with other parents.  Kindergarten Open House is stressful, I think.    

 Today we have a short conference with her teacher, to learn a little more about her time in class. She is excited and can’t wait for the first day. The conference is just prolonging her anticipation.  

For me, it means she gets two more days to be a little girl.  And I don’t have to worry about my experience as a parent for awhile.