50 Blog Posts Every Teacher Should Read

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I am proud to say that this blog has a place on a special list. 50 Blog Posts Every Teacher Should Read is a list produced by Michael Erins on his site Masters in Education.

The post, What can forgiveness do for you?, written July 31 2010, about Phoebe’s father’s wish to forgive the children involved in her suicide, was in response to the Phoebe Prince case, and in part, a post written earlier that day.

Thank you Mr. Erins for your dedication to teachers and for researching the 50 most important sites. I applaud your efforts.

As many of you know bullying is a crisis I care deeply about, despite my inability at this time to post as often as I would like.  I applaud efforts by educators to find new ways to deal with this age-old problem.

I mentioned awhile back I had spoken with my daughter’s principal about the lack of supervision on the playgrounds at her school. Two school days after that conversation the principal di send out an email to parents requesting volunteer supervision on the playground. It was a welcome email and when I returned to the school the following Friday there was a noticeable increase in parents choosing to attend lunch with their children. Recess seemed a little less chaotic and it is my opinion that adult presence simply reminds children of the rules even if the rules are unspoken. Kudos, to her principal!

Perhaps you can spend some time at recess with your children and help create a more visible adult presence. Children really enjoy it, and I am sure you will too.

Most bullying in schools occurs during unsupervised times like recess, class transitions, and bathroom breaks. Children cannot be watched every second of every day but if  more adults are present during recess perhaps the likelihood of bullying behavior will drop.

Isn’t it worth a try?

I hope you are having a wonderful week and I hope to have opportunity to write again soon. In the mean time please explore some of the helpful links I have provided on this site.

~Beth

Phoebe Prince’s father focuses on forgiveness?

In a recent post by Boston Globe Staff Phoebe Prince’s father is quoted as saying he would ask for leniency if the bullies accused in his daughter’s bullying suicide case apologized.

Can you imagine? The pain he experienced this year must be horrific, and yet, he seeks to forgive.

His example is one that we all must  follow. After all, each of us makes mistakes. We all say and do things we regret. Our actions, though we may not intend to hurt people, sometimes do. Occasionally we act impulsively. Sometimes our motivations are unclear, even to us. Sometimes, we behave poorly, and wish we could take back our actions. Sometimes all we want is to be forgiven.

Jeremy Prince, phoebe’s father, suggested he would ask for “total leniency” if the teens involved admitted what they had done.

Can we not learn from his pain, and his example?  Can people learn from their mistakes and see the opportunity that sometimes arises from unfortunate incidents?  I hope so.

If the south Hadley teens are forgiven and allowed to move forward with their lives perhaps they will see how their actions affected so many others. Perhaps their anger and hatred will produce positive changes in them, and those around them. Perhaps they will seek to set an example and share their experience so that others may see how bullying is more than just children behaving badly.
Perhaps they will use their experience to help others. Assuming they are guilty, if they do not seek forgiveness, and move forward with anger, it is not only Phoebe’s life that lost that day.

I sincerely hope that the children involved, and their parents, can all work toward forgiveness. Perhaps we can all learn something from this tragedy.

Indictments of the South Hadley Accused

A reader pointed me to the indictments of the accused South Hadley teens and I felt it appropriate to share them here if anyone is interested in reading them.

They are a chilling look at the torture Phoebe Prince endured in her last days, including the comments Sharon Chanon-Velazquez allegedly made after her death, stating that she “was not the only one involved in Phoebe’s death and she did not care she was dead “.   These comments are part of a witness account, but should that person testify it is apt to be damaging, unless of course it is heresay.

If the administrators and teachers failed to do anything for Phoebe, as it certainly appears, they should be held accountable in the same way these children are. THEY are the adults, THEY were supposed to be in control of their building and school.

I have worked with teenagers, granted they were boys, but they were ‘felons’ and they were removed from society due to their criminal acts. I understand that teenagers are not always easy to gain control of but there is NO excuse for allowing behavior like this to go on, in my opinion.

Bystander effect or not, suck it up and be a decent human being and do the right thing. These people did none of that. It appears Phoebe begged to go home, begged to be safe, and begged for help, and none of that seems to have happened. Now, it appears they are all concerned with covering their backsides, while they throw these children (don’t get me wrong they deserve what is coming to them if they are guilty) to the ‘dogs’.

Seriously people, when is an adult going to come forward and admit their guilt.

 sharon_velazquez

ashley_longe

flannery_mullins

Read more on the indictments here.

You might have failed ….

You might be in trouble when the Governor lambastes your handling of a matter…
You might be in trouble when he suggests that you could have done better…
You might have a problem when he publicly suggests you failed….
That is what happened in Massachusetts yesterday when Governor Patrick publicly berated the school administration for failing to address the continuous torture of Phoebe Prince.

“I’m telling you, this is outrageous, what you and I and others are reading and hearing about this,’’ Patrick said during a morning radio interview. “The more we hear, the worse it sounds.’’

“It’s incredibly upsetting to me that the adults don’t seem to have acted like adults,’’ he said.

It is upsetting but is it all that surprising, really?  I don’t think so. 

Teachers have a terribly hard job. I do not deny that. I have friends that are teachers, and I have worked with teenagers. I know the pressure they are under and I know the red tape they endure. Many teachers are altruistic in their desire to help children. Some teachers get in and become jaded and cynical; only looking for tenure.  Some, not all.

I have seen what the draw of a pension, and secure job does to people. It was the same in juvenile corrections. It is not easy to be the only person who believes in children when the majority are jaded and collecting a paycheck, little else.

I was in the middle of a team meeting in a medium security unit of the corrections center where I worked. I saw that some of the children we being treated aggressively, and deserved more humane and better treatment. I cried out that they ‘were future leaders’ and they deserved a chance. I was berated until I cried.
Bullying occurs everywhere and some well-meaning teachers were likely forced to keep quiet. Perhaps they were not told to keep quiet, but their peers likely encouraged it.

The Milgram Experiment , where people are encouraged to shock their peers under the direction of scientists, is a now famous experiment that has been replicated in many different ways. “Learners” are shocked as “teachers” are told it is an important aspect of the experiment and they must continue. Many “teachers” feel uncomfortable as “learners” audibly express pain, but they continue, each time looking at the scientist (or superior) for relief ,or permission, to stop the experiment. 

Perhaps it was the “Bystander Effect”.  It says that the more witnesses there are, the less likely it is that the bystanders will call attention to, stop the event, or call for help.
Perhaps, like in the case of Kitty Genovese, who was murdered in front of 38 people, for nearly an hour, these teachers and administrators did not do anything because no one else seemed concerned.
It is a known phenomenon, but, in my estimation, it is little excuse.
I think we are entirely too apathetic, and this includes being first responders, or socially active. We are perfectly happy to live in our own little worlds,  not active in helping others. We have all sorts of excuses like time, and work, and family.

I wonder what really happened in Phoebe’s case. Were they teachers told to ignore it or were they just bystanders paralyzed by their own ignorance.

Whatever the case, you may be in a spot of trouble, when the governor calls you out. It is likely that, through whatever channels are available, your job might be on the line.
Perhaps, it would have been better for all involved if someone would have just taken responsibility for Phoebe. They could have been more vocal, they could have insisted on a more emphatic school response. Either way, something could have been tried. I do not think anyone would have faulted them for trying, but in this case that certainly did not seem to happen.

Blame the victim?

It seems we will never get tired of blaming the victim in this country. 

Angeles Chanon, mother of Sharon Chanon Velazquez , one of the girls charged in Phoebe Prince’s harassment, is blaming the victim. According to an article in an online edition of New York Daily News, Ms. Chanon stated her daughter never touched Phoebe Prince and only called her names, implying that is just what kids do.  Ms. Chanon also implied that Phoebe called her daughter names, yet it was Ms. Chanon’s daughter that was suspended for harassing Phoebe prior to Phoebe’s suicide.

 Victims of bullying will often have little choice but to engage in ‘self-preservation’.  They will do whatever they can to try to deflect the abuse in some way.

Certainly Phoebe did not deserve the treatment she received. She was not only called names, but she was physically harassed. She had things thrown at her and after her death members of the “Mean Girls Club” stated on a Facebook page “we killed Phoebe Prince”. Sharon Chanon Velzquez was allegedly a member of that group. 

Sharon’s mother had plenty of opportunity to complain if she felt that the situation between her daughter and Phoebe was something more benign. Instead her daughter’s treatment of Phoebe, along with the other members of the Mean Girls Club, was so horrific , Phoebe felt she had no other options but to end her life.

Why DO we always end up blaming the victim?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/03/30/2010-03-30_mom_of_teen_charged_with_bullying_south_hadley_hs_student_phoebe_prince_into_sui.html

Names of the South Hadley Teens

In correcting an earlier post, the Boston Herald  has released the names of the teens, and stated there are six teenagers and 3 juveniles that are being charged. (My original post only mentions the 6 teens)

The names released are as followed, but I think it is very important to understand they are innocent until proven guilty.

Those charged today, according to the DA, include:

Sean Mulveyhill, 17, of South Hadley who is charged with statutory rape, violation of civil rights, criminal harassment and disturbing a school assembly.

Kayla Narey, 17, of South Hadley who is charged with violation of civil rights, criminal harassment, disturbing a school assembly.

Austin Renaud, 18, of Springfield who is charged with statutory rape.

Ashley Longe, 16, of South Hadley charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury.

Flannery Mullins, 16, of South Hadley violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury and stalking as a youthful offender.

Sharon Chanon Velazquez, 16, of South Hadley who is charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury and stalking as a youthful offender.

The school administration will not be charged.

I will post more as it becomes available…

My sincerest sympathies are extended to Phoebe Prince’s family as this event will no doubt allow a painful wound to be irritated, but I think they are not the only ones who will be suffering now.

As tragic as this event is, there are other people who will now be punished due to the actions of these teenagers. Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents and friends will also be punished as well, and likely stalked by the media. A different form of bullying, in my opinion.

 http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1243175&srvc=home&position=active

South Hadley teenagers indicted

According to WGGB, the teenagers involved in bullying Phoebe Prince are being indicted.

Minutes ago, the District Attorney, Elizabeth Scheibel, informed the press and the community, six teenagers will be charged with felonies. The students, ages 15 through 17, are facing a number of charges. Included in the charges are criminal harassment and statutory rape. The teenagers will be required to report to court rather than being arrested.

The investigation concluded that in addition to the criminal actions of the teenagers, the school was aware of their behavior at least a week prior to Phoebe’s tragic suicide.

Perhaps these charges will raise awareness, perhaps they will destroy other families, perhaps the children will be punished sufficiently, perhaps justice will be served? I am not sure what the end result will be.

What do you think should happen to these children?

http://www.wggb.com/Global/story.asp?S=12220616

***** Some reports are stating 9 teenagers have been charged. I have been unable to find names as of yet.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jtSfPUlJn7oUv4nT-KF2Kqs7J6mQD9EOCSLO0

Phoebe Prince to get justice?

The DA responsible for the town of South Hadley is set to make an announcement today. Many are hoping the names of her bullies are released. Many want them to be prosecuted for something. 

Sadly, nothing will bring Phoebe back.  Will it stop other children from bullying if they are prosecuted? Not likely, children will become even more devious and secretive at their abuse, at least in my opinion.

What purpose will it serve? Will the girls who tortured her be changed? Again, not likely. After all they did write on their Facebook page that they had ‘killed’ Phoebe?

Should they go to prison? I don’t know. I am more inclined to think that they should be forced to work with suicidal teenagers, or at a morgue, or some other community service that will really create an impact. Prison, in my opinion, helps no one, least of all society or the victim.

I am not sure what will happen. The woman who impersonated a teenager, and antagonized poor Megan Meier to commit suicide, was not prosecuted.

What do you think will happen? What do you think should happen? What would best serve society? What would best serve justice?

Legislating pain?

How do we legislate a child’s pain? How do we regulate a behavior that is arguably an innate instinct?  Does legislation curtail bullying?  Does forcing schools to implement programs actually protect children, or are they just band aids?

These are all questions that people try to answer when trying to create laws to reduce bullying and protect children.

Massachusetts Senate recently passed a bill trying to protect children by forcing schools to ramp up their bullying curriculum, as they have done in the past. The problem is that the House has not seen fit to pass the bills. Perhaps now with increased pressure as a result of Phoebe Prince and other children committing suicide rather than face bullies they will decide the law is important.

The legislation passed sets out to ensure that schools are able to discipline children for bullying activities on the internet outside of school, and activities that affect a child at school. It requires the parents of victims and perpetrators to be notified and gives schools the power to contact police. 

While I believe that school curriculum should be a tool in the box, it is not nearly enough.

It is, ultimately, a band-aid.  We are trying to correct behaviors that begin LONG before children ever set foot in a school. They are, in part, a human trait that seeks to ‘weed out the weak”.  I think that whether one believes in evolution or not, it is easy to see similarities between the human behavior and animal nature.

What I don’t understand is the ‘permission’ to call police?  That shouldn’t even be an issue. Harassment and physical abuse should be illegal. Period.  We shouldn’t need extra laws to govern it.  The problem is that a lot of bullying occurs at a very young age. The early elementary years are especially a problem. Of course this is the time that we address the problem with “they are just kids”, but there is another more complicated issue. Children that young are rarely prosecuted. Not that they should be, but there are few criminal systems designed for anyone under the age of ten. Most don’t really hold kids responsible until the age of twelve.

How do I know?

I worked for seven years as a juvenile corrections officer. In a prison for boys.  Electric fence and razor wire.

I had a person say to me once, “why do you call it prison, this is America and we do not imprison children here?”

I beg to differ, but that is beside the point.

Children at that age are not being helped by the criminal justice system. The system from my perspective does nothing more than breed future criminals. The recidivism rate is unbelievably high.

So what do we do then? How do we solve a problem that is present in nearly every culture in the world?

Leave it alone some would say. It is a fact of life. Well so is disease and death and we try to correct and combat that daily.

I say the problem lies within each of us.  We need to change how we see and react with each other, in order to change how our children react with each other.  We need to start by raising awareness that the problem begins with how we are socializing our children at the earliest ages. We need to raise awareness that bullying begins ,basically, at birth.

Not popular, I know. No one wants to look at themselves and say they are part of the problem.  No one wants to look at the sweet innocence of a baby and say they are capable of forming habits that will eventually lead to bullying.   I don’t think we can put an age on it. I think that some children are socialized in child care settings among other children and it can begin then. It can begin at home among siblings. Fights over toys and struggles over power are part of bullying. Until we learn to deal with those issues we wont curb bullying. Not when they in school, not in the workplace, and not in the global political arena.

How do we legislate something so basic?

We don’t. We learn to change ourselves.

http://www.boston.com/news/education/k_12/articles/2010/03/12/senate_oks_bill_to_curtail_bullying/

Phoebe Prince and the Mean Girls Club

Phoebe Prince was a 15-year-old who had recently moved here from Ireland. Her only crime was dating a football player. Of course that is not really a crime, and she certainly didn’t deserve the treatment she received. But a group of students at her school who called themselves the Mean Girls Club, thought it was a crime. They harassed her and called her names. They stalked her and threw things at her. Eventually she felt she could take it no longer and Phoebe hanged herself.

Imagine how hard it is to be a teenager, then imagine yourself as a teenager in a new country. I can’t imagine how scared and alone she felt.

Why are we allowing our children to behave in such a manner as to label themselves The Mean Girls Club? Apparently right under the noses of the school administration?

According to Madeline Wheeler at Huffington Post, the members of the Mean Girls Club posted “We killed Phoebe Prince” the next day on their account.  If that is not the most sickening thing I have ever heard, I don’t know what is.

Please accept my Facebook challenge and post  Hopefully you will help Please cut and paste this statement and edit it as appropriate into your status “ I was a bully/I was a victim/I was a bully and a victim… and it affected me/I am sorry. Please know the signs of a bullied child and help them learn appropriate strategies to combat it.

Please help raise awareness and help our littlest children, victims and bullies, to learn new skills and strategies for tolerance.

The untouchable Mean Girls – The Boston Globe

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