How can we stop bullying?

Yesterday I wrote about the lessons your child will learn in school this year. I wrote about trying to make sure the lessons they learn include how they treat others. I don’t write these things because I presume that I am perfect at interpersonal relations, far from it in fact.

Growing up, I was picked on something fierce. I was sensitive, and often worried about what others thought, still do in fact. I had some close friends but I was always unsure what people were looking for. All I really wanted was for everyone to get along. I am still that way. I still think that each person, no matter how different has something to offer the world.

Many people who know me would say I am loud, sometimes abrasive, opinionated, passionate, vocal, unfiltered, brash, and I am sure many more adjectives would come to mind.

The truth is I am probably all of those things, but I am also sensitive, caring, forgiving, generous, and much more.

The point I am trying to make here is that we are all different. We all have qualities that others may not like from time to time. We make choices that others do not like and none of us is perfect.  

Many people wonder how can we stop bullying. Should we start programs, make laws, or start a list of offenders?   Maybe all these things, I suppose. In reality I don’t think that any of these things will work on their own.

What I do think will work is for all of us to accept a little humility. To realize that none of us is perfect. To understand that to stop bullying we must look within ourselves.

Each day we make mistakes, each day we are not perfect, each day we must start anew and work toward developing better relationships with the people around us. We must reach out to people whom we may not easily identify. We must look to make connections with people who are different from us and we must all serve as an example.

The first step to stopping bullying is to understand that old saying about living in glass houses, and casting stones.  We must try harder, be better, and try and try again to” be the change you want to see in the world” (Gandhi).  (If you are not a fan of Gandhi, there are many other similar quotes that mean the same thing- insert your own favorite here or feel free to share yours)

I know I am not perfect, are you?

What is the most important lesson your child will learn this school year?

My daughter will enter Kindergarten this year.  As I gear up for the dreaded school clothes shopping ( I know some people like shopping but I am not one of them) I think about what she might learn this year. Will she learn how to read better? Will she start chapter books? How much math is part of the curriculum?

All of these things are important but she could learn other things too. She could learn how to pick on the new kid. She could learn what it feels like to be excluded. She could learn how to call names, and exclude others. She could learn that differences are to be feared. 

All of these things are topics we discuss at home but peers are pretty powerful things in a child’s life.  A parent can spend hours, days, and a lifetime teaching and telling a child how they want them to live; but faced with being picked on or excluded themselves they may choose differently than we would like.

How do we counteract the pressure and examples others set for our child? 

Telling a child to treat their peers with respect means little if we do not do the same. If we choose media and entertainment that offers examples of catty, disrespectful behavior, that example is likely more powerful than the words we share.

Another important way to make sure your young child treats peers with respect is to invite other children to activities in your home, or a park, or a public place of your choosing.

1.Be sure to invite all the children in your child’s class.

2.Try to make sure it is an activity that all parents can afford.

3. Invite the parents, and develop relationships with them.

4. Take time to develop an activities network and take turns with other parents. 

5.  ALWAYS  Treat all parents with respect and do not speak ill of them when not in their presence (especially in front of your children or others).

6.  Be Proactive! Create a community for your child and their peers, include parents, and develop relationship.

I know that many parents work odd hours, different shifts, many are shy, and many have financial challenges.  There are many activities that are inexpensive or free.

Some suggestions:

1.Sack races with pillow cases at a park.

2. Trips to Nursing Homes, or Elder Care Centers.

3. Trips to Animal Shelters.

4. Trips to the Fire Station, Police Station, A local Bakery.

5. Craft day in the park. (Make cards or projects for nursing homes)

6.  A toy drive for those less fortunate.

7. Roller skating, or biking in the park.

8. Garbage pick up in the park.

9.  Softball, Volleyball, Soccer, etc.

10. Sledding in the winter.

These activities can be planned with little effort. Email, phone or Facebook, all the parents in the class. Send a note home with the students. Give a date and time and allow those that are able to come to meet there.  Not all children and parents will come every time, and it may take a few times to get a response but people will want to share in the fun you are having.

Children love group activities and it is up to us to create community and appropriate examples for children.

Are there any other activities or ideas you could share?

Show us your Pink Shirt!

Today is Pink Shirt Day, a chance to show the world that you will not tolerate bullying. We wanted to share our Pink with you, now you share yours…

My Family shows off their PINK!

Send me your pictures and I will post them here. You too, can say, I want to reduce school violence, aggression and abuse!

kindergartenbully@att.net

Have a fantastic day! ~Beth

Wednesday, April 14, is Pink Shirt Day

In Nova Scotia, Canada, two boys decided they were not going to let one of their peers be bullied in silence.  The boy had been bullied for wearing a pink shirt to school so his friends chose to wear pink as a way of supporting him and Pink Shirt Day was born.

Their community joined in and this year they are asking people to show their support by wearing pink. On Wednesday, April 14, 2010, you too, can show your support by wearing pink. When you put on pink you will be saying that bullying is something that should not be tolerated and you will show everyone who is a victim they are not alone.

Learn more about the boys, and their effort here.

Bullying is a serious issue, one that many people overlook as something children must live with as a part of childhood. Show your support, wear pink and say that together we can make a difference in a child’s life.

Moms (and everyone) Opposed to Bullying (M.O.B)

Hello everyone!

I have been writing this blog for a little over a month and the response and support is amazing. I have begun to wonder what more we can do.

That is why my friends and I are working to start a Non-profit. We have never anything like this before and are just figuring out what to do.

Inspired in part by the story of Josie Ratley, bullying victim who has been hospitalized with near fatal injuries, and her family lacks insurance for her care.

Inspired in part by the family of Phoebe Prince, who has retained legal counsel in the death of their daughter.

Inspired by the thousands of children who may need mental health assistance and their families lack insurance or resources to acquire that (as we are unsure as to how the new insurance plan is written and will work).

We would like to form a fund that ensures these victims can at least receive some assistance for their struggle.  Legal, medical and mental health expenses can be an added burden on the families of victims and we would like to help. We would also like to offer assistance to local community projects aimed at creating a cohesive community environment for children.

We would like to work to raise awareness that these behaviors begin very early and the focus needs to be placed on proactive initiatives rather than reactive responses later in a child’s, or adult’s, life.

We would also like to be a place where parents and family members can turn for support, resources, and encouragement when dealing with the victimization of a child.

If you are interested in helping, we need your help.

If your child is being bullied you need a M.O.B. to stand behind you.

Please consider helping us reach our goal. You can email at kindergartenbully@att.net to find out more.

We are just starting out and are looking for assistance in any form including pro-bono legal advice, and advice on starting a non Profit.

You can be part of this chance to help change the life of a victim

Exciting Times

Over the past two days we have been in contact with two separate artists, skilled in two different mediums, who have expressed interest in working with our project.  One artist suggested she would also have friends interested in participating too.

How very exciting for the children and the community! Not only will the children learn to appreciate different artistic mediums, learn creative ways to channel their emotions, and gain self-esteem from creating a beautiful piece, the community will be receiving wonderful pieces created by its youngest citizens.

What could be better?  

A number of parents have expressed interest in their children participating. This means that if we are not able to use the students at the school there will be children who would like to participate and parents to share the experience with them.   We continue to share with local parents and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. Hooray!

The school administrator emailed and said there was a meeting this week to discuss the overall project and she would get back to us then. We hope that they are as excited about this wonderful community project as we are.

If you live in the Madison, WI  area and would like to share your artistic experience with children in the community we would love to have you.

Please email peaceofsculpture@yahoo.com or leave a comment here. We look forward to hearing from you!

Volunteers

Peace of Sculpture is located near Madison, WI. Our project is an exciting opportunity to give back to our children and community.

We are looking for talented individuals to share the experience with us. Because we will be working closely with children it is expected that each person will voluntarily submit to a background check to ensure each child’s safety.  There are a number of duties available and there is a place for everyone.

Should you be interested in working with us, we would love to have you.

Please email Peaceofsculpture@yahoo.com for details.

Founding Donors

As we move forward with our project we are anticipating we will need to raise a small amount of money to cover incidental expenses and supplies, primarily the cost of lead-free glazes, electricity, studio expenses and artist expenses. In the event that we surpass our intial fundraising goal we would like to be able to present each participating member with a T-Shirt commemorating their participation. All donations are appreciated.  Final budget data will be available shortly on this site and by request. 

Donors contributing to our first project will receive recognition here as a Founding Member.

Today we received our first pledges towards our initial goal of $500.00.

Founding Members

Mary K. Lindsley

Andrew J.  Kohlhoff

Thank you to all who have contributed thus far, your contributions will make this project a success.

A fund will be established at a local bank to be determined immediately and will be listed here.  Once established, donors will be able to send their contributions directly to the fund.  After successful completion of our inaugural project we anticipate applying for Non-profit status at that time.

In addition to generous donations from the community, Peace of Sculture will be participating in several fund raising opportunities to be solidfied in the near future.  In addtion Committee members will make applying for and receipt of grants a important part of their fundraising activities. Please contact us if you are aware of any applicable grant opportunites.

 Beceause we are a grassroots organization we would be grateful for any advice and networking opportunities that may be available.

You may contact Committee members at  peaceofsculpture@yahoo.com or leave a comment here. Your comments are always appreciated and will be responded to in a timely fashion.